


Touch

by cherrysprite



Series: Fluff and Stuff [3]
Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Confusion, Fluffy Ending, Fluffy as hell, Gay Panic, M/M, Self-Discovery, Sort Of, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 09:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: Still, even if Jordan was an exception, Asher didn't tell him about something that bothered him until he had reached a breaking point.He didn't like to be touched, not anymore. Not the way his ex-girlfriends used to.





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> For Grace, who doesn't have an ao3 account (that I know of) to gift this to. Consider this a late birthday present and in general a jasher fic to fuel our shipping fire.

Asher has always been a good liar, sure of himself and confidence seemingly never cracking even under the hardest blows. Call him what you want, but he's still just Asher Adams, and he'll keep his secrets close to his chest just where they belong.

Jordan was the very first and only exception to that rule, and it had been that way ever since one day in fourth grade. Jordan hadn't always been the self-assured, tall, powerful quarterback that he was now, but Asher wasn't the same either. When Asher decided to go and sit by him while he was on the swings alone, without knowing it, he made one of the most important moves of his life. "Hi," he said to his quiet classmate, swinging slightly, his feet just barely touching the ground. Jordan looked up at him with his doe eyes with surprise, a light smile coming to his lips. "I'm Asher. Do you know how to kick your legs on the swings? I never got the hang of it."

Ever since then, Jordan and Asher were inseparable. They were paired up in classes, split apart because they were too loud, and were always by each other's sides. They were no longer two seperate kids, they were just Jordan and Asher, the best friends and class clowns at times. Asher told Jordan just about everything that happened to him and Jordan did the same. Asher knew about Jordan's insecurities when it came to football and Jordan helped his friend through the rougher period's of his dad's alcoholism, the two of them being a constant support system for the other.

Still, even if Jordan was an exception, Asher didn't tell him about something that bothered him until he had reached a breaking point.

He didn't like to be touched, not anymore. Not the way his ex-girlfriends used to. He spent nights laying awake wondering if he was broken because he no longer found things that used to excite him, like Layla's boobs, interesting. Whenever they kissed he didn't feel any kind of spark, just the smell of perfume that clung to his clothes as a reminder of how he felt when he was with her that way: like he was crawling in his skin.

There was a time when he had enjoyed it, but those days had passed. Now his father was always on his case about finding a new girlfriend and his teammates wondered how badly he must have fucked up to be single for that long, since he hasn't had a streak so wide since he had his first girlfriend in eighth grade. "You should come to my party on Friday," JJ suggested, trying to be helpful. "There'll be some college girls there, fix you right up, get you back on your feet." He patted one of Asher's slumped shoulders and the brown-haired boy gave a trying smile although the prospect only made him feel worse.

That was how he found himself here in his room. Asher's stomach was in knots when he finally told Jordan how he was feeling, wondering aloud what had happened to him and how he could get himself out of it. He told Jordan everything, how he just wasn't attracted to most of the girls at their school anymore, not like he used to be. He let it all pour out as Jordan sat on his bed while Asher paced around, waving his hands in the air frustratedly. "I don't know what's the matter with me," He finished shakily, running a hand through his hair, and Jordan pressed his lips together, looking at his distressed expression with thought.

"I mean," Jordan started. "There might be something you're not considering." 

Asher paused his walking and stared back at him. "What?"

"I...maybe it's not you, maybe it's them," Jordan said calmly. "Maybe it's not _girls_ that make you feel good anymore."

Asher looked down at the floor and stopped breathing for a second before looking back up at him. Jordan got off the bed and walked towards him. "Ever thought about that?" he asked, and Asher had to shake his head, knowing where Jordan was going but not comprehending it.

He almost flinched when Jordan's thumb came to rest under his chin, tilting his head upwards so Asher looked into his deep brown eyes. He felt like all the air had been sucked out of him, his lips parting slightly and his heart beating faster. He hadn't been touched like this, not ever, not like he was as fragile as he felt. It triggered his fight-or-flight response, but he couldn't bring himself to move, not when Jordan was sharing his space like this, finding that his feet were anchored to the floor. "Jords..." He breathed, voice shaky with nerves. Jordan's thumb rubbed over his jaw and his other hand came to rest on his neck. His eyes dropped to Jordan's lips, and Jordan couldn't even tell, since his own sights were set on Asher's.

"Stop me if you don't like this," Jordan whispered, and Asher gasped in a breath when he saw Jordan moving ever so much closer, his eyes closing on instinct when their noses brushed.

Asher's lips met Jordan's in a soft press, and he took a shuddering breath through his nose as Jordan held onto him a little firmer, testing the waters. There were no sparks, but there was something else; there was a warm feeling that spread over him, as though he had just entered a heat wave after an eternity of freezing weather. His own hand reached up on it's own to rest on Jordan's hip, and after staying stationary, he began to move his lips the way he remembered. "Mm," Jordan hummed, tightening his grip on him as Asher's other arm snaked around his back and pulled him closer.

Asher felt like he was floating, his body shaking with the uncertainty of it all, begging him to get away and avoid the wave of danger but also screaming at him to stay where it felt right. His lungs burned by the time he had to pull away for air, and he gasped against Jordan's collarbone, words failing. Jordan rested his hands on the small of Asher's back and held him closely, comforting him from the tremors. 

"Please don't tell me you did that as just an experiment," Asher whispered when he could finally speak again, and he felt Jordan shake his head.

"Ash," he said softly. "I've wanted to do that for what feels like forever," he admitted, smiling weakly when he felt Asher's body relax against his own. "Can I...?" Jordan asked, looking back down at Asher's lips.

And for the first time, he was excited for it, and for once he  _wanted_  to be touched. Asher nodded, meeting Jordan's eyes for one brief second before his focus fell elsewhere.  _"Please."_

\--

Asher never liked holding hands with people before. He thought that walking through the hallway like that was stupid and unnecessary, and that showing off that you were with someone was superficial.

Now, though, things were different. Asher walked down the halls of Beverly High with his hand fitted tightly into Jordan's, his chin up and a smile on his lips. He dared anyone and everyone to say one thing about what he was doing, but no one ever did. They took one look at his face and knew that there was no talking to him about it.

He'd never felt so free and happy, and the feeling intensified every time Jordan glanced down at him when they were walking together. Jordan squeezed his hand and intertwined their fingers so that they fit more closely, and Asher sighed, leaning into him like he had been there all along, the missing piece of an easy puzzle waiting to be discovered.

"I love you," Jordan reminded him and Asher nuzzled his cheek into Jordan's sleeve, not even caring that they were at school. He smiled and felt that warm feeling all over again.

"I love you too."


End file.
